A litttle visit

I got my son to read Harry Potter by buying him a Wii game. Seriously. He played the game and got to learn the story. During the four hour drive to visit my mother he and I chatted about the books: the stories, the characters, the deaths. He finally picked up the first book and has not been able to put them down. He asks all sorts of questions, seeing things in the book I didn't until after the series ended. He plays with my HP toys (which I generously share with him with the caveat that he is only borrowing them). He even wants to be Harry for Halloween. It's been a real trip for me, reliving this all again. And of course, no trip down HP memory lane is complete without you all. No, I haven't told him about this place. He is only ten, after all, and there are some things he needn't know about his mom. But more than that,this world has always been very private for me. Very special. And not one I share too easily.

I can't tell you all how much I miss this place. Writing, reading your thoughts, sharing my own. And as life peaks and valleys, ebbs and flows, I find myself thinking of it all the more. There was always a smile, always a joke, a word of inspiration, a shoulder, a hand, a story, a place to cry,or scream,or just be some else for a few minutes each day.

LIfe is...life I guess. My son is growing faster than I am prepared to handle but luckily he and I have grown really close lately. Harry is a big part of that. My daughter...my amazing daughter...brings me joy that I didn't know I was capable of feeling. The rest - work, family, house...remember those peaks and valley's I was talking about. I'm fortunate that there are more peaks but those damn valleys have kicked my ass on some days.

It's 1 AM here. Everyone is asleep but me but that's how it's always been. I felt like I needed to talk and I remembered you. You've never let me down. So say hello. Let me know what you've been up to. Tell me story. Tell me a joke, Ask me a question. Or recommend a book that I can give my son after he's finished devouring HP. I'd love to hear from you.
  • Current Mood
    thoughtful thoughtful

(no subject)

I'm writing to you now with my new daughter on my lap. My little Tartlette came a month early, weighing 6 pounds, 11 ounces and with a head full of soft brown hair. She couldn't wait to get a start on life -- even if I could have used another week or two. :o)

I've been trying to remember it all, the things you are supposed to do with a new baby at home. It's been 10 years since I've had the honor, and while some of it comes almost automatically the rest is a bit hazy. Ok, I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm willing to learn it all over again. After all, I didn't screw up the first one too badly -- nothing a few years of good therapy and a short visit to Oprah couldn't fix.

It's been a long road, one I never thought I'd see the end of. And that isn't to say the last few months have been easy. I've been tested in ways I never thought I would be. But, in the end we made it, all of us. I wouldn't mind a few prayers this way - any Deity will do, I'm not picky.

My love to you and yours. I'll update again, as soon as I am able to put her down, which I haven't been able to do much just yet.
  • Current Mood
    happy happy

Still Lurking About

I had the most lovely surprise in my in-box today. Several thoughtful and generous friends sent me some virtual gifts. I can't tell you how touched I was by that. And how very surprised.

Know that I think of you all often. Nearly daily, truth be told. I still write stories in my head; I just can't seem to get them down on paper – how sad is that. One day, soon, I'll give you all a more detailed update, one that better chronicles my ups and down of the last year. It’s been…interesting.

Happy holidays to all.

With love,


(no subject)

I had wanted to write a small rant called “Why Facebook Sucks and Why I Miss Livejournal” but I felt that stating “Facebook Sucks” was really enough. :o)

Suffice it to say that I am more myself here, without the worry of judgment or an interrogation, than I can be in a place where everyone I ever waved to junior high school is looking me up.

Also – I rewrote the last book I read in my head….then I added Severus Snape to it. Thought you ought to know.

(no subject)

*dusts off live journal*
**has coughing fit**

Wow, that’s a lot of dust. :o)

Howdy neighbors. Long time no see.

I was checking my email and I had a rather lovely review from someone about one of my fics. They still trickle in every now and then and I get a jolt of nostalgia each time. Oh, how I miss you all. I’m strongly considering revisiting one of my half finished fics just because I want to get it done. I jumped on LJ and was please too see that people were still reading, still writing, still reccing, still having fun. It warmed my cockles…I didn’t even know I had cockles.

Let’s catch up shall we……

I am currently writing from my new home. Senior Tart and I just bought a new house. Our first house to be exact. It’s drafty, and in need of a lot of work, but we love it. I feel like I could grow old here.

I’m still not thrilled with my job, but I still have one which is a lot more than I can say for some these days. And they love me; I just got a raise and a bonus actually. But it isn’t enough for the crap I deal with on a daily basis. This is probably why I had such cold cockles.

Sister is still getting a divorce. He’s turned out to be a bigger ass than I ever could have thought. It saddens me. I won’t talk about this any more. As you can imagine it’s been something that my family has been dealing with for some time and I’d rather hold on to my current happy mood just a little longer.

Sister in law is having twins. There’s more to say about this but I’m not ready to just yet. More on this later. Come to think of it there’s been a lot of drama in my life these past six month. Most of it hasn’t been fun. This goes to further explain my absence.

So enough about me. Really I see that look in your eye and I can’t be responsible for your falling asleep on your desk. Drool can really wreck your keyboard.

Give me a rundown of what you’ve been up to or anything going on around here. What is everyone doing? What is everyone reading? Where is all the angst? The wank? What the latest and greatest?

I’m begging for news here.

With love,


Is it live or is it ......

So, here's the thing.

My LJ life was fun. I could say what I wanted without being judged. Okay, I was judged but I was okay with it because I - Lydia - wasn't judged, TTT was, and TTT is pretty cool about these sort of things.

Lydia, however, isn't. Lydia is a bit more thin skinned than TTT. A bit more careful. Lydia doesn't slash...in public.

Lydia isn't on LJ. Lydia is on Facebook and when Lydia doesn't get friended back she gets bitter. She gets bitchy. And she doesn't forget.

Yes, I am petty.

I also have to behave because these people know me. Work with me. They are related to me. And they know my mother.

And there is an appalling lack of smut in Facebook. What's the point, really?


I was just contacted by someone I hadn't spoken to in nearly 20 years.

And that is kinda cool.

Hydee ho neighbor. How goes it?

Yes, I’m still alive. I didn’t want this place to become my dumping ground so I told myself I would not update until I had something good to report. As you can see it’s been a while.

Yesterday, however, Mr. Tart and I watched the last Harry Potter movie and I remembered that the next movie is coming out in November. I also realized that I knew nothing about the movie. Usually at this point I’ve seen a slew of pictures, have read half a dozen interviews, and have seen at least three of the main stars naked. I’m so behind. Any news would be greatly appreciated.

So a quick update –

The good – I’m buying a house!!!! Or really trying to. It needs a new septic system. And boiler. And the electric needs to be updated. And the roof needs to be reshingled. And the kitchen needs to be updated. And every room needs new paint and light fixtures. And there’s radon in the basement. And some termite damage, don’t forget the termite damage. But other than that it’s perfect!!!!! I know it sounds awful but we got a good price on the house and are able to make most of the updates before we move in. It has a great backyard and it’s in a great school system so I’m thrilled. I’ll let you knew when we close on it. Until I get the keys I’m not sure it will actually happen.

The bad – I’ve had my third miscarriage in a year and a half. I’m taking the summer off from thinking about it. In the fall the hubby and I are getting a work up to make sure there isn’t a bigger problem. Then we have to decide whether we try again. I’ll tell you the truth, this last time broke me a little, but the idea of not trying again bothers me more than failing again. We’ll see. I’ll keep you posted on that as well.

The ugly – My sister is going through an bitter divorce. I’m actually pretty thrilled she’s getting a divorce. I hate her husband- a bigger waste of space doesn’t exist on this world or the next – but I hate what it’s doing to her and my nieces. He’s irrational, erratic, selfish, and unstable. And those are his better qualities. I’d like to give specifics but I can’t until the whole thing is settled. Fingers crossed that it’s soon.

Mr. Tart is great (most of the time), the Tartlet is fabulous (for at least part of the day), and the job is getting better (very, very, very, slowly). We go on as best we can. I’m actually feeling pretty happy today. We got a good report on the state of the attic and tomorrow I’m signing mortgage papers. Here’s to new beginnings and crippling debt!

Miss you much,


Tra-la-la-la-la and another 'la' for good measure.

It has taken me this long to say Thank You to everyone who wished me a Happy Birthday - two weeks ago. How pathetic is that!?!

Well, any way....

Thanks! It was really quite extraordinary. I've been around so seldom that it really surprised me.

Having your birthday fall on a major holiday kinda sucks. At first I thought it would be cool to have it on Easter because I would be with family and everyone would would be in a festive mood.

I was wrong. So very wrong.

I did get a cake though and it's surprising how much better everything seems after cake.

I've been corresponding with a lovely person who translated a couple of my fics into German and was kind enough to translate reviews for me. It made me remember how much I missed this fandom and how badly I want to finish the half written stories sitting on my hard drive. It also made me realize just how much I devoted to fandom. It was basically my drug of choice for 5 years.
Just sitting here, taking ten minutes out of my day to say hello feels so very good.


The house hunt continues. We have a realtor. We are also considering going on a tour of foreclosed housed. I am not keen on the idea of profiting from another's misery. There's too much bad Ju-Ju already in my life. We'll see.

I also got a call from an ad agency looking for me to interview there. My job is killing me but who's to day that one will be any better. There is must too much to think about right now.

I have 10 minutes before I have to be at work. I might just nap.

Later Days, mi amigos.

Er......is this thing on?

Allo, Allo, friends and those who vaguely remember who I am. How goes it?

I missed you so very much.

I realized how much I used this place as a refuge from all the things that pained me. I miss reading your journals, and lurking in the comms, and the reading and the writing of the lovely fics. Especially the writing. It's been so since I've written anything. Not that I haven't wanted to. I've had bunnies - evil, wicked bunnies.

*le sigh*

But life goes on.

Funny kid story -

So I'm singing a lullaby to my son. Now when he was four this was cute. At six - six going on forty - he has less patience with me. He looks at me with a tone of incredulity says "Why does she buy her son such rotten gifts. Can't she tell that the mockingbird can't sing when she's in the store? Why did she buy it?"

I thought you'd like that one. :o)

Oh - I need some advice. Mr. Tart (he's waving hello BTW) and I are looking to buy a house. Our first house. I have no idea what I'm supposes to look for or ask about. I know many of you own homes. Can you give me some pointers? Something that you wish you knew to ask before you bought your own home?

You could also just say "HI". That would be nice to.

I would love to hear from you.

(no subject)

Reasons why I suck –

1- I totally missed the birthday of one of my favorite people in the world. abigail89 I’m so sorry. You had a special comm – WHICH I JOINED WEEKS AGO – and couldn’t get my shit together in enough time to wish you a happy birthday.



Sorry I suck so much.

2 – I was nominated for a bestmatesawards but was away from my email for so long I didn’t accept the nomination in time. Thanks so much to whoever took the time to nominate my fic. It really means the world to me. I’m sorry I suck and didn’t follow through.

3 – I have a friend I introduced to Harry Potter. She read all seven books in a matter of weeks and got just as obsessed with it as I was. She’s really having a hard time moving past it and reading anything else. Frankly, she is a perfect candidate for fandom. I think she’d love it and would truly find that little bit more she is looking for, here. I can’t bring myself to introduce her to fandom because I am not comfortable about sharing this part of my life with outsiders. The few times I tried to share it …let’s just say it didn’t go over well. I feel for her because I know what she is going through, and I know fandom could help, but I’m terrified to share it with her. I feel like I’m betraying her and I hate that. I suck again.

4 – I’m petty. No really I am. I have always been one who’s cheered for people when they’ve succeed or when good things have happened to them. Lately though it's been a lot harder to do. I started to list out my pettiness in detail but I’m really embarrassed at how bad I’ve become. Everything is bothering me lately. That’s not me. That’s not who I am. But I’m afraid it’s who I’m becoming.

5 – I want to write so freaking bad, but I can’t. I’ve been working so many hours that I can barely stay awake when I come home.

That just sucks.

What doesn’t suck –

You guys are great. I’ve just skimmed a tiny bit of my flist (I’ve been MIA for a long while and have missed everything) and I love that you are still reading and writing and creating. You give me hope.

Stay strong!!!

Love you ,