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Downward Spiral

And she keeps falling...

October 22nd, 2011

A litttle visit

I got my son to read Harry Potter by buying him a Wii game. Seriously. He played the game and got to learn the story. During the four hour drive to visit my mother he and I chatted about the books: the stories, the characters, the deaths. He finally picked up the first book and has not been able to put them down. He asks all sorts of questions, seeing things in the book I didn't until after the series ended. He plays with my HP toys (which I generously share with him with the caveat that he is only borrowing them). He even wants to be Harry for Halloween. It's been a real trip for me, reliving this all again. And of course, no trip down HP memory lane is complete without you all. No, I haven't told him about this place. He is only ten, after all, and there are some things he needn't know about his mom. But more than that,this world has always been very private for me. Very special. And not one I share too easily.

I can't tell you all how much I miss this place. Writing, reading your thoughts, sharing my own. And as life peaks and valleys, ebbs and flows, I find myself thinking of it all the more. There was always a smile, always a joke, a word of inspiration, a shoulder, a hand, a story, a place to cry,or scream,or just be some else for a few minutes each day.

LIfe is...life I guess. My son is growing faster than I am prepared to handle but luckily he and I have grown really close lately. Harry is a big part of that. My daughter...my amazing daughter...brings me joy that I didn't know I was capable of feeling. The rest - work, family, house...remember those peaks and valley's I was talking about. I'm fortunate that there are more peaks but those damn valleys have kicked my ass on some days.

It's 1 AM here. Everyone is asleep but me but that's how it's always been. I felt like I needed to talk and I remembered you. You've never let me down. So say hello. Let me know what you've been up to. Tell me story. Tell me a joke, Ask me a question. Or recommend a book that I can give my son after he's finished devouring HP. I'd love to hear from you.

July 12th, 2010

(no subject)

I'm writing to you now with my new daughter on my lap. My little Tartlette came a month early, weighing 6 pounds, 11 ounces and with a head full of soft brown hair. She couldn't wait to get a start on life -- even if I could have used another week or two. :o)

I've been trying to remember it all, the things you are supposed to do with a new baby at home. It's been 10 years since I've had the honor, and while some of it comes almost automatically the rest is a bit hazy. Ok, I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm willing to learn it all over again. After all, I didn't screw up the first one too badly -- nothing a few years of good therapy and a short visit to Oprah couldn't fix.

It's been a long road, one I never thought I'd see the end of. And that isn't to say the last few months have been easy. I've been tested in ways I never thought I would be. But, in the end we made it, all of us. I wouldn't mind a few prayers this way - any Deity will do, I'm not picky.

My love to you and yours. I'll update again, as soon as I am able to put her down, which I haven't been able to do much just yet.

December 8th, 2009

Still Lurking About

I had the most lovely surprise in my in-box today. Several thoughtful and generous friends sent me some virtual gifts. I can't tell you how touched I was by that. And how very surprised.

Know that I think of you all often. Nearly daily, truth be told. I still write stories in my head; I just can't seem to get them down on paper – how sad is that. One day, soon, I'll give you all a more detailed update, one that better chronicles my ups and down of the last year. It’s been…interesting.

Happy holidays to all.

With love,


May 31st, 2009

(no subject)

I had wanted to write a small rant called “Why Facebook Sucks and Why I Miss Livejournal” but I felt that stating “Facebook Sucks” was really enough. :o)

Suffice it to say that I am more myself here, without the worry of judgment or an interrogation, than I can be in a place where everyone I ever waved to junior high school is looking me up.

Also – I rewrote the last book I read in my head….then I added Severus Snape to it. Thought you ought to know.

November 23rd, 2008

(no subject)

*dusts off live journal*
**has coughing fit**

Wow, that’s a lot of dust. :o)

Howdy neighbors. Long time no see.

I was checking my email and I had a rather lovely review from someone about one of my fics. They still trickle in every now and then and I get a jolt of nostalgia each time. Oh, how I miss you all. I’m strongly considering revisiting one of my half finished fics just because I want to get it done. I jumped on LJ and was please too see that people were still reading, still writing, still reccing, still having fun. It warmed my cockles…I didn’t even know I had cockles.

Let’s catch up shall we……

I am currently writing from my new home. Senior Tart and I just bought a new house. Our first house to be exact. It’s drafty, and in need of a lot of work, but we love it. I feel like I could grow old here.

I’m still not thrilled with my job, but I still have one which is a lot more than I can say for some these days. And they love me; I just got a raise and a bonus actually. But it isn’t enough for the crap I deal with on a daily basis. This is probably why I had such cold cockles.

Sister is still getting a divorce. He’s turned out to be a bigger ass than I ever could have thought. It saddens me. I won’t talk about this any more. As you can imagine it’s been something that my family has been dealing with for some time and I’d rather hold on to my current happy mood just a little longer.

Sister in law is having twins. There’s more to say about this but I’m not ready to just yet. More on this later. Come to think of it there’s been a lot of drama in my life these past six month. Most of it hasn’t been fun. This goes to further explain my absence.

So enough about me. Really I see that look in your eye and I can’t be responsible for your falling asleep on your desk. Drool can really wreck your keyboard.

Give me a rundown of what you’ve been up to or anything going on around here. What is everyone doing? What is everyone reading? Where is all the angst? The wank? What the latest and greatest?

I’m begging for news here.

With love,


July 25th, 2008

Is it live or is it ......

So, here's the thing.

My LJ life was fun. I could say what I wanted without being judged. Okay, I was judged but I was okay with it because I - Lydia - wasn't judged, TTT was, and TTT is pretty cool about these sort of things.

Lydia, however, isn't. Lydia is a bit more thin skinned than TTT. A bit more careful. Lydia doesn't slash...in public.

Lydia isn't on LJ. Lydia is on Facebook and when Lydia doesn't get friended back she gets bitter. She gets bitchy. And she doesn't forget.

Yes, I am petty.

I also have to behave because these people know me. Work with me. They are related to me. And they know my mother.

And there is an appalling lack of smut in Facebook. What's the point, really?


I was just contacted by someone I hadn't spoken to in nearly 20 years.

And that is kinda cool.

June 23rd, 2008

Yes, I’m still alive. I didn’t want this place to become my dumping ground so I told myself I would not update until I had something good to report. As you can see it’s been a while.

Yesterday, however, Mr. Tart and I watched the last Harry Potter movie and I remembered that the next movie is coming out in November. I also realized that I knew nothing about the movie. Usually at this point I’ve seen a slew of pictures, have read half a dozen interviews, and have seen at least three of the main stars naked. I’m so behind. Any news would be greatly appreciated.

So a quick update –

The good – I’m buying a house!!!! Or really trying to. It needs a new septic system. And boiler. And the electric needs to be updated. And the roof needs to be reshingled. And the kitchen needs to be updated. And every room needs new paint and light fixtures. And there’s radon in the basement. And some termite damage, don’t forget the termite damage. But other than that it’s perfect!!!!! I know it sounds awful but we got a good price on the house and are able to make most of the updates before we move in. It has a great backyard and it’s in a great school system so I’m thrilled. I’ll let you knew when we close on it. Until I get the keys I’m not sure it will actually happen.

The bad – I’ve had my third miscarriage in a year and a half. I’m taking the summer off from thinking about it. In the fall the hubby and I are getting a work up to make sure there isn’t a bigger problem. Then we have to decide whether we try again. I’ll tell you the truth, this last time broke me a little, but the idea of not trying again bothers me more than failing again. We’ll see. I’ll keep you posted on that as well.

The ugly – My sister is going through an bitter divorce. I’m actually pretty thrilled she’s getting a divorce. I hate her husband- a bigger waste of space doesn’t exist on this world or the next – but I hate what it’s doing to her and my nieces. He’s irrational, erratic, selfish, and unstable. And those are his better qualities. I’d like to give specifics but I can’t until the whole thing is settled. Fingers crossed that it’s soon.

Mr. Tart is great (most of the time), the Tartlet is fabulous (for at least part of the day), and the job is getting better (very, very, very, slowly). We go on as best we can. I’m actually feeling pretty happy today. We got a good report on the state of the attic and tomorrow I’m signing mortgage papers. Here’s to new beginnings and crippling debt!

Miss you much,


April 4th, 2008

It has taken me this long to say Thank You to everyone who wished me a Happy Birthday - two weeks ago. How pathetic is that!?!

Well, any way....

Thanks! It was really quite extraordinary. I've been around so seldom that it really surprised me.

Having your birthday fall on a major holiday kinda sucks. At first I thought it would be cool to have it on Easter because I would be with family and everyone would would be in a festive mood.

I was wrong. So very wrong.

I did get a cake though and it's surprising how much better everything seems after cake.

I've been corresponding with a lovely person who translated a couple of my fics into German and was kind enough to translate reviews for me. It made me remember how much I missed this fandom and how badly I want to finish the half written stories sitting on my hard drive. It also made me realize just how much I devoted to fandom. It was basically my drug of choice for 5 years.
Just sitting here, taking ten minutes out of my day to say hello feels so very good.


The house hunt continues. We have a realtor. We are also considering going on a tour of foreclosed housed. I am not keen on the idea of profiting from another's misery. There's too much bad Ju-Ju already in my life. We'll see.

I also got a call from an ad agency looking for me to interview there. My job is killing me but who's to day that one will be any better. There is must too much to think about right now.

I have 10 minutes before I have to be at work. I might just nap.

Later Days, mi amigos.

March 15th, 2008

Er......is this thing on?

Allo, Allo, friends and those who vaguely remember who I am. How goes it?

I missed you so very much.

I realized how much I used this place as a refuge from all the things that pained me. I miss reading your journals, and lurking in the comms, and the reading and the writing of the lovely fics. Especially the writing. It's been so since I've written anything. Not that I haven't wanted to. I've had bunnies - evil, wicked bunnies.

*le sigh*

But life goes on.

Funny kid story -

So I'm singing a lullaby to my son. Now when he was four this was cute. At six - six going on forty - he has less patience with me. He looks at me with a tone of incredulity says "Why does she buy her son such rotten gifts. Can't she tell that the mockingbird can't sing when she's in the store? Why did she buy it?"

I thought you'd like that one. :o)

Oh - I need some advice. Mr. Tart (he's waving hello BTW) and I are looking to buy a house. Our first house. I have no idea what I'm supposes to look for or ask about. I know many of you own homes. Can you give me some pointers? Something that you wish you knew to ask before you bought your own home?

You could also just say "HI". That would be nice to.

I would love to hear from you.

February 2nd, 2008

(no subject)

Reasons why I suck –

1- I totally missed the birthday of one of my favorite people in the world. abigail89 I’m so sorry. You had a special comm – WHICH I JOINED WEEKS AGO – and couldn’t get my shit together in enough time to wish you a happy birthday.



Sorry I suck so much.

2 – I was nominated for a bestmatesawards but was away from my email for so long I didn’t accept the nomination in time. Thanks so much to whoever took the time to nominate my fic. It really means the world to me. I’m sorry I suck and didn’t follow through.

3 – I have a friend I introduced to Harry Potter. She read all seven books in a matter of weeks and got just as obsessed with it as I was. She’s really having a hard time moving past it and reading anything else. Frankly, she is a perfect candidate for fandom. I think she’d love it and would truly find that little bit more she is looking for, here. I can’t bring myself to introduce her to fandom because I am not comfortable about sharing this part of my life with outsiders. The few times I tried to share it …let’s just say it didn’t go over well. I feel for her because I know what she is going through, and I know fandom could help, but I’m terrified to share it with her. I feel like I’m betraying her and I hate that. I suck again.

4 – I’m petty. No really I am. I have always been one who’s cheered for people when they’ve succeed or when good things have happened to them. Lately though it's been a lot harder to do. I started to list out my pettiness in detail but I’m really embarrassed at how bad I’ve become. Everything is bothering me lately. That’s not me. That’s not who I am. But I’m afraid it’s who I’m becoming.

5 – I want to write so freaking bad, but I can’t. I’ve been working so many hours that I can barely stay awake when I come home.

That just sucks.

What doesn’t suck –

You guys are great. I’ve just skimmed a tiny bit of my flist (I’ve been MIA for a long while and have missed everything) and I love that you are still reading and writing and creating. You give me hope.

Stay strong!!!

Love you ,


January 19th, 2008

I was going share the details of my week - I mentally quit my job six times so it was quite an eventful one - but I refuse to spend one more minute thinking about the wretched place. Instead I turn to my lovely source for all things Harry Potter.

My book club is going to have a Harry Potter Special and I'm wondering if you could help me with the following. Please answer any and all that interests you -

1 - What inconsistencies have you found over the course of seven books?

2- Are there any questions JK left unanswered that really irked you?

3 - Were you satisfied with the ending?

4- Which book did you like most? The least? Any particular reason?

5 - Favorite/Least Favorite character from book one? By book seven did that change?

6- Which character death bothered you the most?

Thanks much ......

January 9th, 2008

(no subject)

My boss is this optimistic, bubbly, extremely energetic, Grateful Dead loving hippy who hasn't worn the same outfit twice since I've started working here.

Most days I just want to kick her.

January 5th, 2008

Not dead yet.

Well Howdy.

Let me say that I am thrilled (and a bit surprised) that I haven’t been defriended by all of you. Thanks for having faith.

Life proceeds.

I’ve turned into one of those work-a-holics. Not by choice, mind you. Normally I’m horror-struck by those types, but the whole “making money to buy things with” thing is actually more important to me than I would care to admit. Sadly, I spend so much time at work -- actually working -- that I don’t have time for anything else. I get home at night and can do little more than kiss my son good night and vegetate on my couch to whatever is on the Food Network.

Luckily for me I found a small group of Harry Potter fanatics so that I don’t feel completely out of the loop. And while their enthusiasm pale sin comparison to yours, it’s enough to keep me sane. Then, on those rare occasions that I can skim my flist, I find home. I hadn’t realized how much this place meant to me until I was forced to take extended (and unwanted) vacations.

Not being here doesn’t mean that I haven’t been thinking of you. It doesn’t mean that I don’t have half finished fics that I think about or new fic ideas running through my brain - hello, Potion's Master to revive!!! I even have a fic that I sent to a beta to look over. Part of me wants to post it just to get back in the swing of things but I know that it isn’t ready (by ‘isn’t ready‘ I mean it sucks donkeys). It’s het, rare-paired, and painfully PG. If I’m going to put a fic out that no one will be interested in, the least I could do is make it readable for those few brave soul who might give it a once over.

Speaking of fandom can someone direct me to a recent Ron/Draco that I might read before I go to bed.

Pretty please. :o)

There’s also all this other crap going on that I tell myself I’m going to share with you but never do. I don’t want to be the friend who only shows up when she need to bitch about something. That’s no fun. I will there’s one person who is getting a long overdue divorce, another getting divorced that never wanted it , and a third that really needs to get divorced but won’t. None of those people are me - Mr. Tart and I are still tight and the Tartlet is still the light of my life – but all these people are important to me so I’m affected.

I’ll stop here because I can’t seem to form another coherent thought.

I will now open the floor to questions.

November 30th, 2007

(no subject)

Love me, hate me,
Kiss me, kill me.
Torture me slowly,
With feathers of doves.

Call me, ignore me.
Curse me, adore me.
Set me on fire,
But do it with love.

I can't tell you why this has been running through my head for days. Shows you the sorry state of my head. I also just steam cleaned my carpet....at 9 PM. I've obviously lost it. :o)

I have just had my longest hiatus from fandom since I was first ensnared in its ho-so lovely tentacles all those years ago. I"ve not been online for a couple of weeks. I have no idea what's going on except there's some sort of age-content filter that I don't quite understand. It seems like a good idea, I think, but I'm sure it will somehow bite us all in the ass sooner or later.

I hope you are all doing well.

BTW - does anyone else get spam mail from Greatest Journal. What the hell is up with that? I get so excited to get email only to find someone is very concerned about the size of my penis. Does every man on this plane have penis problems that so much mail must be sent out to stop it.

Enough of that - How goes it, y'all?

November 17th, 2007

Wherein I'm not who I was...

I haven’t been feeling like myself lately. Did you ever feel that? Like you were a stranger in your own skin. It’s an odd feeling, like you’re floating above yourself watching someone else’s life from a distance. And it’s not a very interesting life. Frankly, if it were a television show it would have been cancelled before the pilot aired….and all copies burned in some sort of ceremonial sacrifice.

If I had to feel like someone else why couldn’t I feel like Angelina Jolie? I might be feeling odd but at least then I’d be smoking hot. Actually, then I’d be married to Brad Pitt, and really he does nothing for me. I’d also have half a dozen kids and while they’re cute being saddled with my own little league team doesn’t allow me to really take advantage of my hotness, so what’s the point.

Okay, forget Angelina. How about Selma Hayek? She’s hot and engaged to a bazillionaire. Only one kid. That I can handle. Also, a bazillion dollars buys many nannies. Maybe I could buy one for Angelina; seems like she could use one.

So….where was I?

Oh yeah, I don’t feel like myself lately. I feel out of sorts. Work has been tough and I feel like that’s all I can think about, like my brain can’t handle my job and an actual life. Two people in my department want to quit. When you have a department of four that doesn’t bode well for the rest of us. One of the disgruntled workers is my manager - this is also not a good sign. Not that I blame either of them, I’d like to quit too. The part that sucks is that I like the work - it’s interesting - I just think I’d like it better at a company that didn’t work me to the ground and expect me to be chipper about it. There’s nothing about me that says ‘chipper’ or ‘perky’ or any variation there of. I don’t even care enough to be apathetic.

Why couldn’t I feel like someone who likes her job? :o)

Family is still good and that counts for something. Counts for a lot actually. And it will be Christmas soon which means I can put up my tree and my ornament collection. For those of you that don’t know I’m obsessed with Christmas ornaments. (Obsessed as in my Harry Potter was mildly amusing in comparison.) I have a couple of hundred and have even started a collection for my son so that he will have one (or four) for each year of his life. If I could, I’d have my tree up now but my husband insists on waiting until after Thanksgiving (the heartless bastard).

So, in short, I’m not me and I’m not Angelina Jolie. I like Christmas and my husband is a heartless bastard but only until after Thanksgiving.

ETA: Heartless Bastard husband wants it duly noted that he just made me a cup of my favorite tea while I sat mocking here him to you all. So who ever this is who I am currently, is a bitch. :o)

Good night all.

October 30th, 2007

As has been the case time and again over these last few years, every time life drops me down a sewer Fandom is there with a ladder, a flashlight, and a piece of chocolate cake. Whether it's with words of encouragement or support or something else completely unexpected.

In this particular case the lovely and talented xiaogui has drawn fan art inspired by my story The Tao of Diogenes.

You can find it here in LJ and here in Deviant Art.

I'm so in love with this picture - everything from Severus's knees to his expression to the haughty little Diogenes perched in is hand is simply darling.

Please go and leave much praise, not only for the lovely piece of art but for the gesture that salvaged my month.

October 27th, 2007

And how was your week…..

I got in a car accident this week.

I do the obligatory “I’m fine” song and dance for anyone that asks but I’m pretty freaked out about the whole thing. I close my eyes and I see myself hit the car in front of me over and over again. I hear the crunch of metal and the screech of tires. I’ve driven since but I was shaking the whole way.

The adjuster thinks my car might be totaled. The mechanic thinks it can be saved. Either way it’s costing me. The little financial gain we’ve made since my husband’s new job will be depleted. I can’t say I’m surprised - I’ve led a very one step forward two steps back sort of life - I am disappointed, however. Mostly in myself. I gave my husband permission to take the kid and run before he is sucked in the vortex of my misfortune any further.

That’s right – I have my very own vortex of misfortune. Envy me.

I haven’t told my mother yet. She worries about me enough, I tell her this happened she’ll be lighting candles and buying every saint statue in a six mile radius.

I haven’t told my son either. I didn’t even want him to see the car. There’s really no need -- unless it is totaled then I’ll keep it around for his teenage years. That ought to make driver’s Ed fun.

The funny part is the mechanic wanted to give me an Explorer for a rental. I turn to my husband, “I crashed a Focus and he wants me to drive an Explorer.” Needless to say I’m not driving an Explorer.

Oh, and to top it off I have three cavities.

Welcome to my life.


So, I’m fine….mostly.

October 21st, 2007

(no subject)

I have a very varied friendslist. From, “No one is gay in the books, you freak. Can’t you read?” to “Everyone is gay in the books, you freak. Can’t you read?” Most of us fall somewhere in between. I think it’s unrealistic to think that no one is gay in an entire universe of books. Thinking everyone is gay is unrealistic too. It’s fun mind you, but unrealistic. Boys can like girls too. No really, it’s been known to happen.

I really didn’t need to be told Dumbledore was gay. I knew it (I mean look at how he dressed - crushed velvet indeed). To me the Dumbledore/Grindelwald connect was pretty clear. Ridiculously clear, actually. That being said, it is pretty cool to have official canon slash. I thank her for that. It tells me that I’m not nuts (about this anyway). That there were definite clues to things not said peppered throughout these books.

It also allows for more “what else isn’t she telling us” speculation, which is why I fell in love with fandom in the first place. The “what ifs” are what make it fun for me. I never really had interest in rehashing canon (though I did dabble in canon pairings once or twice, I’ll pair up whomever I damn well please, so there.)

Something like this statement, however, revitalizes fandom. The flame wars will rage for some time. For the sake of fandom I hope she continues to blow things up and allow the rubble to fall all around. And I hope we continue to pick up the pieces and do with them what we may.

That being said….there’s some part of me that wishes she’s shut the hell up. That’s right. I’d said it. As far as I’m concerned book canon is the only canon. If she couldn’t manage to get it in several thousand pages - in seven books - then let it go. If you want to give us a glimpse of a post book seven world then write another book.

I can hear you saying - If you weren’t in fandom you might not feel this way. You might want the closure. But I don’t think so. I think I would have liked to think that Neville married Luna and that they spent a lifetime confounding each other. Or maybe Luna and Dean ran off together. Or maybe Harry and Ron started a Quidditch team and much hilarity (and slash) ensued. Or maybe Hermione became the Muggle Prime minister. Or maybe….or maybe …or maybe. The great part of having read a book (for me) is thinking beyond the end and taking the characters to other places. So really, she can stop.

But that’s just me. I’m probably in the minority. In the meantime, let the DumbleWald ficfests commence.

Oh, and JKR is so very obviously a trio-shipper. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. :o)

October 19th, 2007

(no subject)

I had a day off today.


Let me re-phrase. I had taken today off.

Various doctors / dentists appointments for me and the Tartlet all afternoon. I figured, hey, take the whole day off. Catch up on the flist, reads some fics, write something.

I'd been looking forward to it for three weeks - a few hours of alone time. A little me and you time.

Then comes this morning, or actually last night, or actually this week, or maybe this month. I work eleven hour days and still didn't get done what I needed to get done. So I worked this morning. It was either that or screw over clients and co-workers and that I couldn't do.

Do you know what that says about me?

It says I need a new job.


October 14th, 2007

(no subject)

My husband is screaming at the television.

Football is not good for his blood pressure.

Hey there my lovelies. How goes it?

I continue to be MIA but, as always you are in my heart. Case in point -

I was teasing my husband - a favorite pass time of mine - when the remote control fell off the back of my sofa and hit me on the head.

Mr. Tart - Ha, and god smites you. You have been smited. Smited? Smote? Smoted?

TTT - Smut?

Mr. Tart - Smut? You've been smut?

TTT - Yeah that will be much funnier when I retell this to my flist later.


A friend gave me the audio versions of the HP books - British Versions. Happiness is a friend who's just as obsessive as you are.


Speaking of my dear Harry, I stumbled upon a pair of refrigerator magnets for Slytherin and Gryffindor. Anyone know where I might find Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw? I've been on the hunt for HP paraphernalia in various bookstores for many months now. I can't tell you what I'm looking for, just the sort of odds and ends only someone like me - an probably you - can appreciate. Anyone else find themselves doing that? If so, where do you browse? I tried Ebay but since I'm not looking for anything in particular (except the magnets which I already tried looking for BTW) - browsing on Ebay can be taxing.


I have a very odd request - Does anyone eat Indian food regularly? Can you give me pointers? What are some different dishes? How should things be eaten? When should I ask for chutney? What is chutney? What are some of your favorite dishes? Some friends want me to take them to a local Indian restaurant and are expecting me to take the lead in ordering and I have no clue. As always, I count on you to save me.

September 26th, 2007

I'm not dead yet.

Hola darlings.

How goes it?

I haven't forgotten you. Life is .....well life.

Things are going well so I really can't complain. Senior Tart is enjoying his new job. Mine is killing me but I like it. Been working long days. Sadly, when I come home I can barely think straight let alone enjoy my previous rockin' fandom lifestyle. I've retreated to lurking but I still love you ... and even manage to read and write in dribs and drabs.

Life after Harry Book 7 is odd. I'm watching TV again and I've gone back to rapid book consumption. Real books and not just fics. It's just palin weird and I'm not sure I like it.

I've missed you guys.

Hey, take a minute and tell me one thing that's happened to you over the past few months. What ever you feel like saying.

I'm listening.

September 6th, 2007

(no subject)

For the hell of it: Me -----> Live Journal, Insane Journall, Greatest Journal, JournalFen

To help me unwind from work at the end of the day I usually play random chapters from the Harry Potter audio books that I have on my iPod. Today, even that wasn't enough. Today I played random songs that ranged from The Black Eyed Peas to Rage Against the Machine and I sang each, screaming from the top of my lungs. If you were driving next to me, and happened to look over, you may have thought I was having some sort of violent seizure.

It was glorious. I highly recommend it.

September 3rd, 2007

I survived my week long "vacation" at my mother's house.


In this case, the word vacation means "annual obligatory extended visit to appease my bitter family because I had the audacity to move away from home" (you have to understand that my brothers, and sister, and their families all live close to home so I'm the rebel that left the nest). I love my family in small doses, too much exposure can lead to permanent damage and I'm damaged enough, thank you kindly.


There is also no computer for me to while away the hours so I have no idea what's going on in fandom. Let me know if anything interesting happened in fandom or in your lives.

Much Love,


August 19th, 2007

(no subject)

Me -----> Live Journal, Insane Journall, Greatest Journal, JournalFen

I'm gonna start all my entries like this for a while until so that people can find me where ever they end up.

I think I'm keeping LJ as my main journal but cross-posting to all four in case anyone wants to delete duplicate journals. I'm a bit sad at having my flist spread all over cyberspace but as long as we can find each other somewhere I think it's all good. It seems like most people are working their way towards Insane journal so I'm probably going to concentrate there as well, with Greatest journal and Journal Fen as back ups.

When I post a new fic I will post it to my fic journal and post announcements everywhere else. I will most probably only take comments on one journal so they aren't spread everywhere. I'm just trying to keep my things organized -- it's my inner Percy taking control. {hugs Percy}

In other news....

I just celebrated my 11th wedding anniversary. I officially feel old. Mr. Tart just got a new job that will start in a week...just in time for my vacation from work. O______o

It's all right though. I'm pretty thrilled about the new job and so is he. The past couple of years have been a bit tough but we've made it through and for the first time in a while things are looking up. *fingers crossed* *and toes* *and eyes*

And.... I'm writing again!!!!!!! It's slow going but that's nothing new, I was never a fast writer. I have three, maybe four fics I'm working on right now in various stages of completion. Feels like old times. :o)

I don't think I'm going to write for fests as me and deadlines are not compatible at the moment, but I am writing.

I will slash Snape again. Oh yes, I will.

Let there be fandom.

And the fandom gods looked up on it and it was good.

August 14th, 2007

(no subject)

Greatest Journal

Journal Fen all fixed now.....

Insane Journal

All linked.

I don't even want to tell you how long this took me to do.


Can we get on with fandom now?

This is only a test......

Watson, come here. I need you.

Soooo.....did it work?

August 13th, 2007

I'm hanging onto fandom by a thread here, people. I want to write. Badly. But I can't write. Why you ask? Because I'm spending all my free time trying to figure out where the hell fandom is going. I set up a Greatest Journal and got a decent amount of my flist back only to learn that GreatestJournal sucks just as much as LJ.


So then I got an Insane Journal but I haven't figured out how to use it yet. Eventually I'll learn post at multiple places. Maybe. Right now I'm in the midst of rebuilding my flist.

Find me somewhere.

I will be keeping my LJ.

If someone can link me to the helpful posts on cross posting, transferring journals and anything that might help me stick around I'd really appreciate it.

I have an account that someone set up for me at Journalfen but they put my username in wrong so now I'm the treacletar but it doesn't matter anyway because I can't figure out how to retrieve my password and I can't use the freakin site.

Just shoot me.

August 7th, 2007

(no subject)

You know you've lost your mind when you find this funny.....

Meet the TartsCollapse )

Show me yours....

August 5th, 2007


strikethough 2007
I'm gone a couple of days and the shit hits the fen.

*le sigh*

Of course this come just when I decided that I'm not done with fandom and there's at least four, maybe five, stories left in me. But it's not just about fandom. There are people on my flist that have long left fandom whom I'd hate to lose.

I'll be honest. I like LJ. It's central and easy and I'm not keen on moving again.


I'm thetreacletart at Greatestjournal. (and that's it. If that doesn't pan out - save a fandom-only option - I'm crawling in a hole.)

Go here to see who else might be there. I've just been poking around, friending back old friends I stumble across.

Now I have to see about coping this journal over. There wouldn't happen to be a way I could update both at the same time, is there?

August 1st, 2007

(no subject)

I'm rereading DH and it suddenly dawned on me that the movie version should be rated R for violence. If they did it right it would be. But it won't be. They'll tone it down to a borderline PG-13 for a younger crowd, many of whom shouldn't be watching this movie anyway (if my experience at OotP was any indication). It's a shame really because much of the book would translate to film well... to an R rated film, that is.

And that's my thought for the day.

(Yes, my one thought. They don't allow me more than that.)

July 27th, 2007

I finished the book.

Not now but a few days ago. I've been away from LJ for a while, mostly because I just couldn't wrap my head around the fact they it's done. Don't get me wrong - I loved the book. I was surprisingly okay with the deaths - SpoilerCollapse ). There were more deaths than necessary I thought. I get it -- it's war and people die -- but not half the people I know. Anyway, I'll have more to say when I can get my head together. I'll leave it at I like much more than I thought I would and she answered almost all the questions I hoped for. Fandom will take care of the rest.

And BTW...

Many will use the SpoilerCollapse ) I know you will. I know I will. At least once. ...maybe twice.

And Snape still rules. Hard.

Oh, I just have to say this - This was on page 723 of DH.Collapse )

This was on a fic I wrote just prior to the books release - Collapse )

I didn't toot my own horn when I realized that a fic I'd written contained horcuxes before I knew what a horcrux was, but this was just creepy.

Otherwise, I just wanted to say hi and I'm thinking of you and all that stuff.

July 21st, 2007

(no subject)

Spent the night out.

Ate some lovely Indian food.

Bought a Prisoner of Azkaban lunch box.

Saw Harry and Potters, Draco and the Malfoys, and various and sundry celebrant in their most festive garb. I was both shocked and thrilled at the sheer number out and about.

Hung out with tehgiantsquid and melandry (Sidebar: Any night that includes the words, "I'm a taint girl" and "Bellatrix is for kids" is a good night.)

Bought the book (no need to pre-order, no need to get a bracelet, no need to wait in long line.

Read until 4am.

Mourned the first deaths.

As for today I didn't want to be locked up inside so I put the book aside (forgive me) and took my son to a small festival to support a school for children with special needs. Had a great time. Enjoyed the glorious weather.

I will continue to read (not until 4am again as I was *really* paying for that one today).

It's not as painful as I thought it would be.

But then again I'm only at chapter nine.

Good reading my friends.

July 19th, 2007

(no subject)

Dear Boston / or near Boston Fen,

I'll be here tomorrow night. If anyone wants to meet up for coffee and to mock all the "fans" in the square just let me know.

See you on the other side,


July 16th, 2007

(no subject)

I see the inevitable has happened. Not only are there spoilers on LJ but an actual copy is making the rounds. I won't download it. Not because I don't want to but because the last time I downloaded a RAR file my computer crashed and I had to pay $350 to get it all working again.

So I'll wait.

*oh so patiently*

But in the meantime allow me to make a prediction.

My prediction is that I will hate Book 7. Moreover, I believe that after you think about it for a while, you will hate Book 7 as well.

It is a truth, for me at least, that Book 7 will never be what I need it to be. There are too many questions to answer. Too many roads to travel. Too many open doors to be closed. The things that are important to me are a probably not important to the story as a whole, and because of that there is a very good chance that they will remain unanswered, untraveled, and unopened. I'll even go as far as to say I think it is impossible for all my questions to be addressed. There are six prior book, thousands of pages, and hundreds of thousands words to go through for the series to fully be complete and I think it’s too tall an order, even for JK.
I find myself disappointed in this book before I've read a single word.

As a fan fiction writer I should be thrilled because that leaves room for me to speculate, but I find myself torn. The wanna-be writer in me wishes to explore these worlds for myself, on my own terms, and for my own pleasure as I have for the past five or six years. The steadfast reader, however, wants closure and understanding. I want it over so that I can close that chapter of my life.

Both sides present pretty persuasive arguments. Perhaps this is why I haven't reserved a copy of the book yet.

There is more, however. So much more to hate about this book.

Many of us have spent years with these books. We've gone far beyond merely reading about the characters or watching them in films. We've analyzed them. We've dissected them. We gotten into their heads to try to understand what makes them tick, what moves them.

They've become part of us all in some way. Part of our daily thoughts, part of our consciousness. We've imagined futures for them. We've created worlds for them. Now many of them will die. I feel silly even placing this in my journal, but I think about them, these fictional pieces of another's imagination, and it breaks me to think that they will be obliterated from the very pages in which they dwelled for so long.

And I mourn them.

Then there are the half written fics and the half baked idea that will most likely never find their endings. Just more unanswered questions and untraveled roads….and doors never to be opened.

What I will hate most though is that I will lose some of you. As this chapter closes many will move onto to other books, other meta, other fandoms. This hurts most of all because you’ve all become such an important part of life, whether you realize it or not. And somehow I think you don’t.

Yes, I’ll hate the book. I’ll hate with the white hot passion of a thousand suns. But I’ll read every word. And once it’s done ripping out my heart I will turn to you as I’ve done for years and you’ll talk me down from the ledge and from then on ….from then on we look for other possibilities.

July 15th, 2007

A Small Gift

omg het
Title: The Hunter
Pairing: Ron / Tonks
Rating: PG-13
Summary: We don't always find what we're looking for. We don't always look for the things we find.

Author's note: About a lifetime ago (give or take) I promised to write Ron/Tonks for redblaze who wanted to see what I could do with this pairing. I'm sorry it took so long. I've struggled with this one because the image I had in my head didn't fit the words I had on paper. I hope you will forgive the rating -- by the time I got the story right the smut seemed out of place.

Many thanks to abigail89 for all her help. Any remaining errors belong to me.

The HunterCollapse )

July 11th, 2007

Various and Sundry....

Only have time for a quickie. (This is different because....)

Am exhausted.

Worked late tonight because I had the nerve to leave on time yesterday.

Left on time yesterday because friend gave me advanced tickets to see OotP...

At Imax...

In 3D...

For Free.

Sorry local fen but I could only get two tix and my husband would divorce me if he didn't get the other one. That being said I NEED a fandom night before the last book. Truly, Madly, Deeply.

Loved the movie but then again I'm not as critical as most. There were things I thought were very well done. Things I wish they did better. Things I wished they didn't do at all. But...

The acting was great. Ron was very Ronish. The Thestrals were beautiful.

Luna was adorable. Umbridge was superbly vile. Neville actually got lines.

Hermione didn't save the world (Steve Kloves can eat my shorts).

I even managed to hate Grawp just a little less. What? I said a little.

The movie needed about ten more minutes just to explain things a bit better. (Frankly, I think they all could use ten more minutes.)

And that is my review for now.

More kvetching once more people have seen it and I don't have to do the whole LJ cut thing.

In other news...

abigail89 is the loveliest, most generous, most wonderful person I know.

D you never fail to amaze me.

Thank you for the wonderful gift. I will treasure it always. My acquaintance with you is the single greatest thing thing to come out of fandom.

***much love****


July 1st, 2007

Drive By

People around me are reserving their copy of Book Seven and buying tickets to the opening night of the movie and I'm like ah, there's plenty of time. But there isn't. Time, that is. It's July.



Wait, I'll say it again.

J U L Y.

Everybody say it with me -

Holy shit.

I'm so not ready. Excited, but so not ready.

In other news...

I just found this lovely banner in my in-box.

LovelyCollapse )

Thanks to anyone who voted for me. Stuff likes this gives me the warm and fuzzies.

June 29th, 2007

(no subject)

And yet, once more, I come looking for help.

Soooooo...my sister sent me this game with all these screen caps of famous movies with the people digitally removed so that you can only see the clothes and the background. Senior Tart and I managed 49 out of 60. The last eleven are driving us (read me) crazy. I'm always telling him that my flist knows all so I am counting on you again. Please look at the images below and let me know if you recognize any of these movies.

Much love,


ETA - THE FLIST KNOWS ALL!!!!! In mere minutes we had answers. Only #39 Remains. Anybody? If you'd like me to email it to you - it's an Excel spreadsheet just let me know and I'll forward it along. Just leave me an email.

ETA 2 - DONE!!!

My Flist Rocks the party.

Oh the humanity...Collapse )
I'm so happy to have a fic done I couldn't wait to get home.

Happy Friday to you all.

Title: And Things that Go Bump in the Night

Pairing: Draco/Luna

Rating: PG-13

Summary: When Draco fears he is being stalked by a creature no one's ever heard of, he goes to the only person in the world who might believe him.

Author's Notes: A very Happy Birthday to tooweaktocureyou. Many thanks to the illustrious elucreh for her help, her encouragement, and her many commas. Any remaining errors belong to me.

And Things That Go Bump in the NightCollapse )

June 26th, 2007

Canon Question

Was the night that James and Lily was killed by Voldemort the same night that Sirius allegedly killed Peter?

Drive By Funny-HaHa

Potter Wars

June 14th, 2007

I miss everything: haiku day, talk like a pirate day, and now the undead.

I guess I'll just have to do them all at once.

I present -

Zombie Pirate Haiku Day Minute

The zombie eats brains
Alas, I’ve none to feed him
Shiver me timbers

*takes a bow*

Thank you. Oh, and arrrrrrgh.

June 10th, 2007

(no subject)

On the Subject of me...

I don't know who runs the Quills Fanfiction Awards, I also don't know who nominated me, but it looks like I won the bronze in the humor category for Tidings of Little Comfort and Questionable Joy. I even got a nifty banner.Collapse )

I wish I could be all aloof and cool and say I'm above all that, but I'm not. I'm shallow. So very shallow. So many hugs to whomever nominated me and a big kisses to anyone who voted. I'm incredibly touched.

On the subject of the hp_funnyfest....

I see many fics have been posted. On time (show offs!!!!). I'm barely half done with mine, which is 100% more than where I thought I'd be. I will finish it, over the next couple of weeks if possible. Not that it's long (which would be a decent excuse for its being late). Or particularly funny. Frankly, we'd all be better off if I didn't finish it. But I'm gonna, because it can be great, If I ever remember how to be funny. *fingers crossed*

On the subject of Paris Hilton going back to jail....

Ha Ha.

And so ends the current events portion of this post.

On the subject of (only moderately) late birthday wishes.

Happy Birthday




On the subject of real life....

After a series of ridiculous events, I start working for my new department tomorrow. I should be terrified but I'm not. For the moment, for right now, I'm happy.

Night all.


June 8th, 2007

You have my word that I will not post a single spoiler -- Primarily because I am very lazy and really, who has the time.

I will, however, read any spoiler as long as it's from a credible source (credible = my flist). That's right, I said it. I like spoilers. Especially book art of any kind.

My personal enjoyment of the book is not diminished in the least by knowing a few things before hand. I realize that others do not feel the same and I respect that so you can feel safe reading my journal....the three times I'll actually update it. :oD

(no subject)

And just to show that there are some things you can always count on -

Happy Egregiously Belated Birthday





















Hey, at least I'm consistent. :oD

May 31st, 2007

(no subject)

My...we are a feisty bunch when we get riled up.

No more sugar for you.


May 30th, 2007

Strikethrough 2007

strikethough 2007
1 - I'm thetreacletart on Greatest Journal. Friend me and I'll friend you back.

2 - fandom_counts

3- As much as I've loved the virtual gifts I've received please don't buy me anything from LJ.

4 - Please back up your LJs.

5 - I decided against flocking my fics. I've done nothing wrong and I won't be made to feel guilty for it.

6 - I'm not deleting my journal.

7 - This isn't about porn.

First they'll come for for the hard core stuff and you'll pout but, as you don't write anything hardcore, you just shrug. Not my problem, right?

Then they'll come for all slashers because someone will find it offensive, but you don't write slash so you let it roll off your back.

Then they'll decide that all fan fiction is wrong. Copyright infringement is against the law isn't too it?

8 - I love my fandom. Amid all the kerfuffle people are still posting fics and art and newsletters and recs.

Keep on keeping on.

May 29th, 2007

(no subject)

I finally had a few hours to myself wherein I hoped to actually write fic. I should have known that the Gods of Irony wouldn't let me be that happy. Now, thanks to a group of fucknuts, I have to lock down my journal.

I know you have all heard about the lj crackdown. If not, go here for the lowdown from femmequixotic. Go here for more info

My journal is so PG-13 it's embarrassing, but I'm feeling very "no one is safe" right now so it's time to start archiving.

I've removed all my interests and replaced them simply with 'freedom of speech' as I've seen other's do, and now I have to go back and wonder if I've ever written something that someone will deem inappropriate.

We are running out of places to go: ffnet, yahoo groups, now LJ.

It breaks my heart.

May 25th, 2007

(no subject)

Overheard at the Casa de Tart after seeing the new Shrek Movie:

Tartlet: Dragons and donkeys make dronkeys. Shrek and donkey make...Shronkey.

Senior Tart: *muttering* Shronkey? I think Mom wrote that.

TTT: *insert evil smile* Oh, I didn't write it. But I bet I could find it.

Senior Tart: *typing on an imaginary keyboard* Dear Flist

TTT: Do not mock the flist. The flist sees all. The flist knows all.


I'm still working hard, I'm still working late, but knowing that in a few weeks I'll be at a new position has made all the difference in the world.

I'm feeling pretty good today.

And it's a long weekend. Huzzah!

I'm trying to write again after not being able to for a very long while (lack of time and being over stressed is not conducive to trying to write humor). A week ago I had thought my fic writing career was over, now I'm back to sneaking in an hour here or there to write even a paragraph. It feels like being home again. *hugs you all*

I'll be away for a few days (not that you'd notice considering my long absences from fandom) but I'll be thinking of you. Incidentally, I'm taking a note pad to my Mom's this weekend in case I can get a moment or two to myself. I gotta get one (or three) more in before the last book.


Take care,


May 15th, 2007

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