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Downward Spiral

I see the inevitable has happened. Not only are there spoilers on LJ…

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I see the inevitable has happened. Not only are there spoilers on LJ but an actual copy is making the rounds. I won't download it. Not because I don't want to but because the last time I downloaded a RAR file my computer crashed and I had to pay $350 to get it all working again.

So I'll wait.

*oh so patiently*

But in the meantime allow me to make a prediction.

My prediction is that I will hate Book 7. Moreover, I believe that after you think about it for a while, you will hate Book 7 as well.

It is a truth, for me at least, that Book 7 will never be what I need it to be. There are too many questions to answer. Too many roads to travel. Too many open doors to be closed. The things that are important to me are a probably not important to the story as a whole, and because of that there is a very good chance that they will remain unanswered, untraveled, and unopened. I'll even go as far as to say I think it is impossible for all my questions to be addressed. There are six prior book, thousands of pages, and hundreds of thousands words to go through for the series to fully be complete and I think it’s too tall an order, even for JK.
I find myself disappointed in this book before I've read a single word.

As a fan fiction writer I should be thrilled because that leaves room for me to speculate, but I find myself torn. The wanna-be writer in me wishes to explore these worlds for myself, on my own terms, and for my own pleasure as I have for the past five or six years. The steadfast reader, however, wants closure and understanding. I want it over so that I can close that chapter of my life.

Both sides present pretty persuasive arguments. Perhaps this is why I haven't reserved a copy of the book yet.

There is more, however. So much more to hate about this book.

Many of us have spent years with these books. We've gone far beyond merely reading about the characters or watching them in films. We've analyzed them. We've dissected them. We gotten into their heads to try to understand what makes them tick, what moves them.

They've become part of us all in some way. Part of our daily thoughts, part of our consciousness. We've imagined futures for them. We've created worlds for them. Now many of them will die. I feel silly even placing this in my journal, but I think about them, these fictional pieces of another's imagination, and it breaks me to think that they will be obliterated from the very pages in which they dwelled for so long.

And I mourn them.

Then there are the half written fics and the half baked idea that will most likely never find their endings. Just more unanswered questions and untraveled roads….and doors never to be opened.

What I will hate most though is that I will lose some of you. As this chapter closes many will move onto to other books, other meta, other fandoms. This hurts most of all because you’ve all become such an important part of life, whether you realize it or not. And somehow I think you don’t.

Yes, I’ll hate the book. I’ll hate with the white hot passion of a thousand suns. But I’ll read every word. And once it’s done ripping out my heart I will turn to you as I’ve done for years and you’ll talk me down from the ledge and from then on ….from then on we look for other possibilities.
  • ...
    They've become part of us all in some way. Part of our daily thoughts, part of our consciousness. We've imagined futures for them. We've created worlds for them. Now many of them will die. I feel silly even placing this in my journal, but I think about them, these fictional pieces of another's imagination, and it breaks me to think that they will be obliterated from the very pages in which they dwelled for so long.

    And I mourn them.


    This is exactly how I feel too. Exactly. Thanks for saying it.
    ...
    • Oh Rox,

      You were there for one of my previous book release freak-outs. This one is bigger. I can't get myself to commit to anything, not what I'm doing Friday night or when I actually get the book.

      *sigh*

      • ...
        You were there for one of my previous book release freak-outs.

        Yes. I still have your email...the one where you'd sneaked away from your weekend company to flip through the book and then thoughtfully send me a note of condolence.

        I'm so, so, so afraid of feeling that way again. That way or worse. Ugh.
        ...
        • Worse, I think. I'll bring the vodka and you bring the lemon bitters. :o)
          • ...
            I got an email from my sister today in which she said, "I’m wondering if you need some extra liquor to make it through."

            I think there's something wrong with a 'hobby' that requires me to drink in order to cope. I mean, that's what my life is for. O__o

            Speaking of emails, I just sent you one.
            ...
  • I get what you're saying, but ... I really think I'm going to love this one.

    Don't get me wrong: there will be unanswered questions and deaths I deplore and events that make me go 'wuhh??' but I'm going to love it, because it's Harry Potter canon and it's more, official pieces of Harry's world that I will get to see.

    Sure, it will never be enough. And I'll never get to see Charlie Weasley snog Viktor Krum (or possibly any canon gay character, explicitly, as much as it would mean for all the young gay people in JKR's reading audience), nor ... oh, I don't know what all. But it's going to be a Harry Potter book. And I think, for me, that will make it wonderful.

    (I do, totally, get your point, though. I'm just trying to stay positive.)
    • It's the deaths that I fear. The finality of it all. I never wrote Sirius after OotP or Dumbledore after HBP.

      My husband knows not to let me watch movies where main characters die. I don't handle it well. I will inconsolable.
  • You've said it with far more eloquence than I can, my dear. I'm not planning to read the book for the foreseeable future, and if I go to a release party and buy a copy, it will be for my roommate, not me. *hug*
  • I see I should bring the tissues to the meetup....

    But seriously, um, yeah, what you said. *hugs*
    • Ugh! I can't meet up this week. I'm working late all week. I mentioned to crikkita that we have a plan a post book blow out.
  • You are one of the people (the few people) who have come to define fandom to me, because you are a fun, kind, generous, witty and wonderful writer and overall human being. I will always be grateful that fandom led me to the opportunity to know you here.

    I hope that Book 7 is better than you think it will be and that is it easier on you than you think. You deserve it,

    *hugs*
    • That is so incredibly kind that I don't even know what to say.

      Thank you.

      I will treasure the years I've spent in this place and the people I've met here. I'm not going anywhere, no mater what happens and I hope you stick around as well.

      Good Reading, my friend.
  • I haven't reserved a copy, too. I don't really know why but part of me is willing to wait out the wave than ride it lol

    • part of me is willing to wait out the wave than ride it

      That's what I'm feeling right now. We can sit together in blissful ignorance for a few weeks at least. :o)
  • ~What I will hate most though is that I will lose some of you.~

    I shall be staying right here, most beloved...

    *tender robed embrace*
    • I'm glad to hear it. We can commiserate on the unfair fate of our beloved potion's master for years to come. :o)
  • I'm not going anywhere! :)

    *hugs*
  • i've read loads of posts recently from people not ready for book 7. this is the first one that truly resonated with me. you've stated, very eloquently, what i've been unable to put in words.

    however, there's a part of me that's very excited about seeing how it all ends. i reckon that if i'm unhappy with the way this end (and i suspect i will be very unhappy) then i'll work to create my own endings. or summat. :)
    • That's just it though - I've been a reader for decades longer than I've been a writer and the reader in me is so very excited.

      Fandom was a very new experience for me. I've never put this much thought into any book I've read. It's a bit harrowing. But, then again, I've been making up alternate endings for things since I read Green Eggs and Ham and thought that Sam I am needed a time out.

      Onward and forward!
  • I'm getting a feeling I'm not going to like the book, either. What I've read of that so-called copy out there has freaked the hell out of me. I'm hiding under the bed now waiting for it to be over. Won't you join me? ;)

    No matter what happens - we will always have fanfic. I just keep telling myself that.
  • It is a truth, for me at least, that Book 7 will never be what I need it to be.

    SO MUCH WORD. Seriously, JKR could turn out the Great Novel of the Century, one to go down in the annals of literature as rivaling Dickens and Shakespeare and the lot, and I still wouldn't be completely satisfied.

    *continues mantra of "she's already killed off Sirius, there's always AU...she's already killed off Sirius, there's always AU*
    • I've invested so much in a book. I honestly don't know how I'm gonna take it. I'm getting butterflies.
  • I have to say that I agree with you. I've become so vested in this series and the characters through fanfic and the fandom friends that I've made, some of which have become very close real life friends, that I'm personally vested in it. Nothing that could ever be written will be satisfactory for me, not truly because I don't want to see it end, or, if I must, then I'd rather see it end the way I've seen it unfold...fully and completely with everything tied up. And this, as you so eloquently stated is impossible for JKR to do. There is no way that she could ever finish the saga and give her fans what they want...give me what I want. And I'll hate the book for that.

    Saying that, I know that I'll love it to. Like with any great literary passion I've ever had I'll have a love/hate relationship with the series. I have one with LotR (and look how many books/histories/ect. have been release there and still I'm unsatisfied because there are minor things that as a reader I became vested in but weren't important enough to be fully explained and defined). But still I love the series, just as I love the Harry Potter one, though I know I will be disappointed.

    In creating these universes the authors will always create a whole in the reader that they invite in them. We become a part of that world, we see it through their words and yet we will never know the outcome of those universes entirely because we aren't the omnipresent "true author" of the series. And honestly, even fanfiction as lovely as it is, can't cover that chasm, not fully. I think that deep down anyone who loves these books, who really loved them, is going to hate the seventh book in some aspect (no matter how much they love it on the surface) because it is ending and no ending will really live up to any expectations, not for those that have become so vested in it.

    That's my humble opinion anyway. And man, I so didn't mean to go ranting like that in your journal. Sorry about that. You just touched on something that I've been thinking since the release date was announced and no one else has seemed to understand. So yeah...I'll shut up now.
    • I think I would have loved it if I wasn't in fandom. Fandom has given me high expectation and a completely irrational fear of loss.
  • Sigh! You have hit everything right on the nail. There's a part of me that just feels like I'm going through the motions on this. I honestly don't know what I will do. I want to believe that I can continue working on my fandom art...but in reality, I'm unsure.
    I have no other fandom that has made me so obsessive like HP has. Woe to me.

    I hope it hits me and then I start to recover.

  • *sniffle* well said! i don't think there's any conceivable way one could be totally satisfied with this book - we have too much invested in it all!
  • Yes, I’ll hate the book.

    You will, undoubtedly, for all the reasons you gave and more. But, at the same time, you will love it, because Jo is Jo, and she's given us all one of the greatest gifts imaginable.

    *Hugs*
    • How much I love it will depend on how much time it take me to heal. It could take years. Then again If I really hate it I can always fix it. :o)
  • I awoke at 5:30 this morning with my heart pounding and my mind racing.

    Why?

    I had a dream that I'd be spoiled for DH. Isn't THAT stupid?

    Like you, I'm prepared to hate the book if only that it's the final one. No, not every storyline will be resolved. Not every character's fate will be tied up nicely. Some will die, and thus, of course, we WILL know their ultimate fate. But know it we shall.

    I'll be here.
    • I don't know if you saw a recent post where I thank you profusely for your lovely gift. Your thoughtfulness never cease to amaze me.

      *hugs you madly*

      • Been reading LJ only sporadically, but you are welcome.

        *scuffs toe* had to commemorate this auspicious event somehow.

        *hugs you back* Wish I could be with you to read/discuss/rant/argue/squee over the book and film. Maybe someday.
  • I couldn't agree more.
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